I play with the kids, or watch the kids play, for a period of time or for a specific activity, and then I head somewhere else for a period of time or a specific activity. One thing that has worked for me in the past is interval parenting. And I sense that you know this, but it bears typing nonetheless: You are a good mother, even if you don’t want to watch a dinosaur battle seven (or 17) times in a row. Oh man, I think a lot of parents can empathize with you in this letter. I know they miss me during the week (I might not be home during the day but I do bath and bedtime every night) but how do you reason with a toddler that they need to play by themselves for 20 minutes so I can take a breath, chug some coffee, and try not to sob with exhaustion? Books, puzzles, and quiet art projects hold zero appeal. My husband is an amazing dad but he deserves a break after being with them 40-50 hours a week so I try to let him rest on weekends as much as possible, but I can’t even use the bathroom without one or both of the boys melting down because I’m not playing with them. I’m constantly on during the weekends because the boys refuse to let me out of their sight so my only opportunity to recharge is after they go to bed. ![]() I do everything I can to engage with them when I’m home-I work full-time out of the home so I’m not around much during the week, while my husband stays home with them-but I’m so exhausted most of the time that the idea of playing one more round of car crashing or dinosaur stomping makes me want to cry. They love to play with chasing, screaming, or with noisy, over-the-top toys-with lots of, “Look Mama! See Mama! You didn’t look! Hi Mommy!” Our weekends are filled with non-stop games, adventures, and wrestling matches. I love them more than life but I feel like a bad mother. I’m a 30-something, incredibly introverted woman who has been blessed with two very high-energy preschool-aged sons. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column.
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